I walked far into the dunes.
What is the best therapy for an over-worked, stressed person?
A moonlit walk on the sands, all alone. Or a moonlit walk anywhere in the silence. There’s always a moon shining in the night.
Kinda helps you think things through…clear things out of your mind that are there but don’t need to be.
Kinda puts everything at rest.
Why? Because at last you are surrounded by some orderliness.
Not a wisp of wind…yet everything moves like clockwork, all around you, as it should.
“When I consider thy heavens… the moon…what is man, that thou art mindful of him?”
How is it, that with all this beauty, God still made us? Knowing we would break the orderliness that His glorious sun and moon would never break?
If you have an answer for that please get back with me.
P.S. Imagine a king looking into a sky full of stars, and a bright moon, and pondering these same words. Read them in Psalm 8.
P.S.S. And yes, like I suggested yesterday, there were kabobs in the evening, the smell drifting from the grill.
Have you ever had to do something that you just did not want to do?
Your hands are sweaty.
Your voice is shaking. You take deep, heavy breaths.
You don’t eat lunch because you are afraid it won’t stay in your stomach for long.
You long for the delightful moment that comes once you’ve finished the dreaded moment.
Symptoms of nervousness.
That was me, last weekend.
I was dreading an event like you wouldn’t believe. In my field, it is unfortunately a requirement to graduate.
You just know that everything that could possibly go wrong in the world will happen in that one single moment.
Even though hundreds of others have accomplished it before you, and they were all standing in their shoes at one moment, shaking in their shoes just like you. And they survived!
So I sat down, and wrote a little note to myself.
That’s how I usually cope with the dread that is churning in my stomach.
(That, and a lot of prayer.)
The first sentence of the letter I read back to myself wasn’t very classy, but those were my thoughts at the moment.
If they don’t like it, then that really sucks for them. Why wouldn’t they like it? These are people who love me. They want me to do my best. So I will do my best for them. And that’s the best I can do. And if it’s not perfect, then well–it’s not perfect. But it was still good.”
(Welcome to the world of my thought process!)
“It was still good.” Yes, that is the part I always forget.
After all, why are we nervous…afraid of the mistakes we might make?
We’re humans after all, so we won’t be perfect, but as long as we prepare and practice to do our best, we have to let what happens happen. We have to let go and let all of that practice kick in. Then when we make a mistake, we have to throw it aside and move on.
You see, it’s not the mistake that matters, it’s how you respond after the mistake that really matters.
Ah-but here’s a little secret about me–I have a secret discontentment with being imperfect. One little mistake…and I think the world has come to an end.
Well, it hasn’t.
One thing I really drew strength from was the story of Joseph. (Yes, that’s why I wrote about Joseph.)
Joseph, who executed everything he did with a strength that seemed supernatural.
Who wasn’t afraid to stand up and present himself in his own way, and thought of others but could care less what others thought of him so long as he was doing the right thing and knew he was doing it well.
So when I walked out into the applause that night, I walked in the strength of my God.
I may not be perfect, but I was still good. And that was enough!
I’m afraid the person presenting the event with me was more nervous than I was.
Even though that person was so kindly more worried about me.
I was humbled. Here I was pacing the floor, worried about something I am not new too, and my rookie assistant who is heaving his own sighs is telling me,
“You‘ll do fine.”
What a reminder to always put YOU first in my life, not me.
A common cliche, everyone always says it. Still, the words were music to my ears. They gave me a sudden boost of confidence.
You see, everyone has a time in their life when they are nervous. We’re humans and it just happens. Admit it. Tell yourself, I will be nervous, BUT I know what I’m doing. It helped me to have a teacher look me in the eye and say, Nervous? Of course you’ll be. Everybody is. That’s just part of it.
We all survive. Fast forward ten years from now…after meeting Love of my Life…wedding bells, maybe a crib in the back bedroom…
Yeah, honey, remember that time you had to give a speech for that meeting? We were doing all that fine dining right before and you had to keep excusing yourself to run back to the restroom…?
What are the best words I heard on that night?
“You’ll do fine!”
A hug, a reassuring squeeze.
These people believed in me.
Dear you, You will be fine! Face whatever you’re facing with confidence! Walk in strength! Focus on doing your best! And if you don’t do it perfect, well then,
You didn’t do it perfect–but it was still good!
Nothing can be better than that!
And I did do just fine. Still, I’m glad it is over.
Sigh of relief. Ahhhh…